Published in Trumplesteelskin — Where the Spin Gets Unraveled
If you ever find yourself talking for 25 hours straight, there’s a good chance you’re either under CIA interrogation or you’re Corey Booker filibustering for… well, that’s still up for debate.
Let’s be clear: filibustering used to be about delaying bad bills. Now? It’s performance art for the emotionally overcommitted and the logically under-equipped. Booker’s marathon mic session looked less like legislative action and more like an audition for a Netflix docuseries called “When Grandstanding Goes Wrong.”
We watched a grown man — a U.S. Senator, no less — trade sound policy for soundbites, all while hallucinating on sleep deprivation and a messiah complex. At some point, we had to ask: was he standing up for the people, or standing in for applause?
And can we talk about the irony? Booker claims to fight for the voiceless, yet he literally wouldn’t shut up long enough to let anyone else speak. It’s like trying to solve world hunger by starting a food fight.
Of course, the media called it “heroic,” which is just their way of saying “we needed something to fill the 2 a.m. slot.”
In the end, all that stood was a man, a microphone, and a message so bloated with buzzwords it might’ve been written by ChatGPT with a liberal bias filter turned up to 11.
But hey, we’ll give him this — it was historic. Not since Al Pacino screamed “Attica!” have we seen such dramatic misuse of airtime.
Tomorrow on Trumplesteelskin? Maybe we’ll break down the climate change committee’s carbon footprint from flying private jets to protest pipelines. Because, you know, science.
Stay salty, stay sane,
Trumplesteelskin
Nikki Russell 