2 min read
·
Apr 6, 2025
🏙️ “San Francisco’s Downtown: Now Leasing to Ghosts, Graffiti, and Good Intentions”
Where broken windows meet broken promises.
💥 Want to write for Trumplesteelskin?
If you’ve got satire, spunk, and some sense, we want you.
Submit your piece, meme, or roast idea to join the circus. 🎪
(Now accepting applications from surviving small business owners.)
🧂 Let’s begin…
San Francisco, once the crown jewel of the West Coast — tech empire, foodie paradise, backdrop for Instagram influencers who couldn’t afford the rent.
Now?
It’s looking like a Mad Max sequel directed by Whole Foods.
🚨 Nearly half the stores in the San Francisco Centre Mall have vanished since 2020.
Nordstrom? Gone.
Banana Republic? Peeled out.
Local boutiques? Evaporated like city council accountability.
📉 Why? Let’s break it down:
- 💊 Rampant crime & drug use — but don’t worry, they’re handing out free needles.
- 🧾 Regulations stacked higher than a Mission burrito
- 🚔 Defunded police + overfunded virtue signaling
- 🖼️ “Progressive policies” that regress faster than an old iPhone battery
Oh, and parking meters charge more than rent in Kansas.
But it’s okay — the city says it’s just “evolving.”
🧠 Respectfully Sarcastic Truth:
You can’t blame COVID forever when crime, chaos, and cowardly policy make opening a business feel like surviving The Hunger Games: Retail Edition.
District 1? Out of stock.
District 9? Looted.
District 13? Closed due to “unsafe work environment.”
🔮 What’s Next?
Maybe the Westfield Centre gets converted into:
- An open-air yoga studio for feral activists
- A gender-neutral safe space for unsold NFTs
- A museum of what happens when liberal policies meet zero street-level reality
🧵 TL;DR
San Francisco built a utopia on paper.
Turns out, paper burns easily — especially when no one’s watching the fire.
🚪 Coming up next on Trumplesteelskin:
Trumpelstiltskin: Gold Threads, Truth Bombs, and Bathtub Tweets 🛁🐘
You’re not ready.
🧂 Stay salty, stay sane,
✍️ Trumplesteelskin
SanFranciscoExodus
WestfieldGoneWild
WokeAndBroke
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RetailCollapse
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Hate him or love him DJT is a man of his word. America is a business & country with 50 kids to lead and give direction/support to this represents her (America) Sovereignty. This ain’t CNN/The View (Jezebels hell.) Only 1 currency spent, time/attention only thing you pay for!Following
Nikki Russell 